Like we never knew each other at all

I know that you're an artist, the hardest one to deal with. Everything you conceal is revealed on your canvas. You find all of your ugly meanings in the things I find beautiful. Do you see the fall is coming? You painted me in pastel, colors that don't tell of any boldness. That's the way you'd love to see me: so delicate, so weak, so little purpose. Your eyes are black so cold, they're so imperfect. They see a sleeping world, where waking isn't worth it. How, can you live without your lies?

5.02.2009

Rain falling again, tears running on my face, pain growing everyday, don't know why. I still ask, was it needed that way on hurt?

Oh my gosh, I'll crush. Oh my gosh, I'll die. Cold again. Feel like cry.

Stop with all this, let's be clear.

You said you wouldn't hurt me again, but you do it. You know, I NEED THIS MORE THAN ANYTHING. WHY? WHY ME? WHY YOUR RIGHT-HAND? WHY? AFTER EVERYTHING I DID BECAUSE OF YOU, ALL THE PAIN I HAD GOT WHEN YOU WERE GONE? AFTER THAT, YOU STILL HURT, AND WHEN I THINK ALL COULD BE OVER, FORGET YOU, SAY GOODNIGHT & GOODBYE, FOREVER, I CAN'T. Because I still love you, omg I still love you. But I can't feel this anymore, please God, I can not.

I ain't solves, I just fall, in the deepest hole, there's no stop. When do you think this is going to end? When I finally lay falling off, and let my body crush, and give up all the suffering, and the end... of everything.